There are times when someone makes a joke that mentions or indicates some suicidal action and it is meant for dramatic effect, exaggerating a painful or frustrating experience. There are times when talking about suicide is a direct communication about someone’s mind state. There’s no way to tell what’s going on under the surface until someone follows up.
Not everybody is going to say “I’m thinking about suicide” or “I’m thinking about dying.” Just a few of the alternatives:
- They’re going to miss me when I’m gone.
- I want to go to sleep and never wake up.
- Everyone would be better off without me.
Some people might also make reference to pop culture in statements (e.g., “I feel like Hannah Baker” referring to the character in 13 Reasons Why), or they might make a shift to more somber or death-oriented music they listen to ‘out loud’ where others can hear.
There are specific questions that can help you walk through assessing risk by getting specific information about what a person has in mind (e.g., The screening version of the Columbia Suicide Severity Rating Scale). However, there are other questions that you might use to inform ongoing therapeutic work after the crisis.
What about the suicidal experience was volunteered (i.e., what they wanted to share) and what about it was revealed (i.e., what they were willing to share)?
An important follow-up question is what communication attempts had they tried before the one(s) that got noticed? It’s possible that the first clues the person gave were picked up on, but more likely that they tried to reach out to people in other ways before anyone noticed.
Another good follow-up question is what communication medium might be easier? Are they a more visual communicator who would like to write or draw or otherwise use visuals to reach out for help? Are they a more tactile or kinesthetic person who would prefer to just be able to hand their helper a card or item indicating that they need help?
I’m thankful for all of the times that we’ve been able to hear that someone needs help and offer support. To intervene earlier in the process, we can explore the lines of communication in more depth after the crisis period.
I would love to learn from your experience too. What recovery insights have you encountered or discovered in working with clients after picking up on their communication about death or suicide?
I would love to learn from your experience too. What recovery insights have you encountered or discovered in working with clients after picking up on their communication about death or suicide?